Dear John
by To make you think
Summary: A Dear John letter Brennan style! In other words Brennan is breaking up with her boyfriend via letter and is not very nice about it. A response letter has been added.
1. Chapter 1

**This take place at some past date- long before Booth and Brennan got together.**

**Hope you enjoy. **

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Dear John,

I am writing this letter to inform you that I have decided to end our relationship. This is not impromptu. I have been weighing the pros and cons of our relationship for some time and after careful deliberation have decided that this relationship is not worth pursuing. We have irreconcilable differences.

You have repeatedly expressed your disdain for my beliefs and habits. As I recall, you told me that my preciseness was "silly and useless." Your lack of respect angers me as does your lack of a sincere apology. I do not believe you will ever ascertain the proper amount of respect for me. This is something unacceptable for a working relationship. So, with your continued disrespect for me, I see no reason to continue this relationship.

Your slobish tendencies leave much to be desired. You consistently do not clean up after yourself. On many occasions I have seen the remnants of your lunch scattered across the table much like your dirty clothes which are strewn haphazardly across your bathroom and bedroom. You also insist on leaving the toilet seat up after I have repeatedly asked you to put it down. Your ability to willingly live in such a state amazes me. There is no way I could further this relationship without worrying about my health.

We have no similar interests. You only want to watch ESPN or idiotic sitcoms on TV and are not willing to watch the programs I find interesting, even on occasion. You mock my choices of television programs and my ideas for fun and relaxing dates. You have stated on more than one occasion that you do not understand how touring a museum could be even remotely fun. You show disdain at anything with even slight educational value. Similarly, you find my food habits repulsive and rarely make an attempt to accommodate my vegetarianism into your lifestyle. I often notice you making faces when I mention vegetarianism or tofu. You constantly say you will never change your diet, though I do not understand why you keep saying so. It was never my intent to change your eating habits and have said so on several occasions, yet you do not believe me. I respect your life choices as much as you do not respect mine, and a one- sided relationship will never be successful. We are also incompatible sexually. You only want to have sex at night, while I prefer morning. More significantly, you have a severe lack of imagination in the bedroom and are unwilling to try anything new. You think that having sex only three times a week is satisfying-It is not. I do not wish to continue a sexual relationship that does not satisfy me.

Lastly, and most importantly, our ideas for the future do not overlap. I want to further my career as an anthropologist and writer, take numerous trips to other countries for research, participate in scientific events across the globe, share my findings, and possible have children at a later date. You do not even think of the future. When asked you say, "The only future I am worried about is tomorrow," and when questioned further, you admit that you did not want kids and had no intention of furthering your career or your life. I wish to see the world and you don't want to leave this city. You say you like adventure, but your idea of adventure is to go to a bar and get in a fight or prank call someone, both of which are ridiculous and immature. I cannot see myself still in a relationship with you in the future and, therefore, see no reason to continue pursuing this relationship when it so obviously will not last.

After reading this letter I hope you will come to the same clear conclusion that I did; this relationship simply cannot continue because it serves no real purpose in either of our lives.

Sincerely,

Temperance Brennan

P.S. If you find any of my belongings at your house, please send them to my apartment immediately.

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**What did you think?**

**The next chapter is a response letter from John.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks for reading chapter one. Hope you like this chapter too.**

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Dear Ice Queen Bitch,

Thank you so much for your letter. You saved me the trouble of dumping your ass. The only reason I kept you around so long was because you were good in bed. I agree with you that we could never be long term. So here's a list of things that I don't like about you.

I secretly couldn't stand you. You always act like you're better than me, flaunting your degrees and correcting me all the time. Your holier-than-though attitude was unbearable. And I could not stand hanging out with you. What kind of freak actually likes museums and documentaries anyway? And your freaky little friends. I hated them too. Speaking of friends, I could never take you out with my friends because you always embarrassed me with your smarty remarks and cluelessness.

And my shows are Not idiotic!

You think I didn't respect you! What about how much you disrespected me. You were always correcting me and talking to me like I'm an idiot. I may not by a 'doctor,' but I do have a college degree you know. And just because I like to have fun and am satisfied with my life doesn't mean I am lazy or a bum!

Also I am not slob! Just because I don't have to have everything perfect doesn't mean I am trashy. You just have to keep everything so perfect don't you? It's amazing I stayed with you for more than a day with your crazy weird habits. You don't like my food- suck it up. Vegetarianism is for wimps.

You know at first your coldness impressed me. Then I got to know you and realized you heart was ice too. You don't care about anybody but yourself. So yeah I did come to the same "clear conclusion" that you did. Our relationship was crap, mostly because of you.

Not sincerely,

Your ex,

John

P.S. Have a nice life, Frigid Bitch.

.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

By the time Booth finished reading the letter his hands were fists at his side. "Bones, what is this?"

"What is what Booth?" Brennan replied without looking up from the paperwork she was finishing.

"This." Booth said as he waved the letter in front of her. Brennan grabbed the letter and scanned it before answering.

"Nothing to get upset about Booth. It is just a letter from several months ago."

"You're not angry about this at all? Why did you keep it!"

"Calm down Booth. I told you it was months ago. I did not even know it was still there. In addition, Angela explained that the letter was only a prideful male's reaction to what he thought was an assault on the size of his penis."

"Okaay."

Brennan elaborated, "Several weeks prior to receiving that letter, I sent a letter to John. I stated the numerous reasons why continuing our relationship was not beneficial. He took offense."

"Oh." Booth's posture relaxed. "You know that none of what he said is true right Bones?"

Brennan nodded then added, "Though I am quite good in bed Booth." Booth impersonated a fish for several minutes before shaking his head and motioning for Brennan to get up.

"Come on, Bones. Let's go meet the others at the dinner." Brennan gathered her things and went to stand beside Booth.

"You should no longer be surprised by my bluntness."

Booth sighed and placed his hand on the small of her back. "I know, Bones, I know."

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**Let me know what you think.**

**Thanks for reading,**

**~to make you think~**


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